can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
