He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
