Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he laminated a picture of his dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
