i can't believe i had my finger in that
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
