got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize