He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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