I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
