Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize