It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am one with the molecules
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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