This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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