The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
