I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
