Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
