so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
