so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
