you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
