I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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