I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
