I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
