Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This is the prime rib incident all over again
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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