Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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