So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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