I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize