I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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