By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
