Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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