I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
