i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
