I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They are going to name an STD after you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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