just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want nice things and good sex
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
