Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
