Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
