She's JV to your varsity
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
