Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
