he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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