In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
