and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
