Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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