I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
