oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
