my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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