It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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