But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
