So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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