I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
