yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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