just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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