Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
