let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
