Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Shame - the story of my life.
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