and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
