I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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