Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
