you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
