Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
