AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize