His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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