i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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