worst night to have a conscience
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
