I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
