Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
