Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
