oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
