I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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